Day 58th...

Time goes fast hah ....

1 month and a half that you left here... Do you know that distance only make me love you and miss you more? guess ya not hah... I really cant get you out of my head ... 

How are you going now? Let me guess ... ya going well, you are good mah :) you are a strong girl, not like me (_ _") 

It's been 2 weeks since i last wrote something for our secret hah?
You know why they call somewhere a secret place? Because it's a place why only you know, only you come to hide yourself... and here will be the place where i hide myself from you hah?
Ya sick... im really worry for you ... and you left without saying good luck to me even though you know im in a tough time, need someone to cheer me up... but ... you went out and have fun with him ... ya two are getting closer, im glad to know so:) but also hurt a lot ... Yup, time has gone, distance has been set, why i still love you so much? And it's getting deeper... and why your love for me is getting less and less... I can feel it whenever we talk ... 

Anw... i still love you so much nah:) Wont let you know abt what's happening to my heart ... This will be my only secret place ... place where i put all the pains, leave it behind and continue making you smile hah ... 

It's getting colder here... nights are freezing ...

And i miss you all the time...

Love you...

Day 42th...

It's been a long time hah? I wont give up on our secret, i wont give up on us...
But recently there were a lot of things happened hah?
Honey, you know there were so many thing happened around me?  I still stand straight cuz i know i have to be strong for you to against on... but then i was so so stupid to make that decision that really separate us away somehow hah? Now i can even you ya far away from me nah...
I miss you so so much... And to day i know how much you loved me, how much i loved you, how much we loved each other... glad to know so even though we hurt each other so much right?
It's worth... life is unfair to me somehow... but since you came, i can feel that god compensate me by bringing you to me!

I love you so much!
I know i have to be your friend now... but i will be beside you for always, with my love, but on behave of a friend....
I will try ^^ If that makes you happy!

ilusm!

Day 34th..

How to start this now? Do you have any idea, honey?
Really now i'm so emotional... too much feeling...
hm... Let me start by telling you about my today hah?...
So i woke up today earlier than normal cuz i know today is they day you come back ^^ In fact i had an early filming this morning for the banquet's entertainment. And i wore business suit this morning, i was completely different hah:D The whole time i kept waiting for you you know? but ... i dont know why ... i guess i cant feel normal when ya back ... cus i guess it's time for me to tell you what i decided...
Honey ah ... you know how much i love you right? Guess you can feel it somehow mah ... And how much do i expect you come back and tell me that you miss me too... but no... i know i am not allowed to expect something like that for now since to you we are only friends... i dont know how can you do it but really, i cant ... i just ... love you too much i guess ... i cant hold it ... and i cant hold it like this as well ... since he's the only thing in your mind ... all of your decision is abt "he doesnt want me to leave","he wants me to stay" ... And you know how much i hurt myself everytime that i think of you and him? Ya know i miss you so much in that seven days ... but also, i cant get rid of the thought that in those 7 days you text to him a lot ... there will be a lot of love ... as before when ya travel with me... you announced him wherever you go... it's like that is a part of you ... and yes ... i am jealous, i am always selfish... but i love you so that i am like that... i do feel happy for you if you are really happy ... seriously! but somewhere in my heart, it hurts a lot! I know you tried to hide me a lot ... but it even hurt me more cuz i know.... "Just be honest to me" mah ...
And it even worst since you said you love me ... but you did nothing for it, instead, all you do is to let it be ... it's not what you told you will do ... but it's ok... if we really mean to be, then we will right? And you will tell me that three words which you whispered into my ears in the airport again right? And we will overcome everything to reach our dreams together if you still remember it somehow...
But i am sorry... for now i cant hold it... I will still help you ... but for now i guess there's nothing else i could help hah? You had your offers, you had everything's right there for you ... if you need anything, let he be the one who help you... Yup, im pushing you to him :) I am doing it now...
Just an advice, do what you want, if you find him will be your final destination then do things for him! As your heart is followed, you wont have to worry that you might regret in the future. An advice that i always tell you hah? BE BRAVE HONEY HAH!

"Kiss me, good bye, gone to soon I did give you my heart can't deny
Hold on, let go, never sure
Only can make believe all this time

Coffee, cigarettes, not my style
Petty faces around but not rhymed
Don't cry, can't cry, I won't cry
Be with you I just close my eyes
So far alway I can hardly make you mine
So long the day you are always on my mind
But in my dreams never try to hold you tight
Don't wanna awake find you aren't here by my side

So far alway I can hardly make you mine
So long the day you are always on my mind
But in my dreams never try to hold you tight
Don't wanna awake find you aren't here by my side

When I wake up hope you were here by my side…"

Listen to the song again hah^^

I love you...

(This entry would be my temporary goodbye hah ... i will wait for you )

Day 33th..

Honey hah...
One week already nah... where r ya?
Miss you til almost die already nah ...
Tell you about my today hah? Today was my awesome day lol=)) i spent 10 hours inside a room to study :> i dont know why i could be that hardworking lol=)) but i finished almost all of my projects already :D
See how good am i?
Anw, how's your vacation? Everything's ok? guess ya had a lot of fun as well as pictures hah... cant wait until you tell me all of that :D

Love and miss you so much!

Day 32th..

Honey ah... so one month we have our secret alive hah:p but it's been a long time since ya last wrote this with me hah....
I really miss you you know?...
So so long time since ya last text me as well hah... guess ya wont miss me like before hah... but no matter what happen, you will always be in my heart! That's i swear ^^
Today i was really smashed by chineses=.= they crushed me when played basket ball... now my back is hurt, my ankles are hurt as well... but it was so so nice that i could play basket ball again like that ^^ But do you remember the time we play together? So so happy that time hah ^^
Again... No one can make me miss that much when im on the course like that... wherever i go, whatever i do  i miss you...

Do you feel the same?

Love you so much !

Day 31th..

Honey nah ...
Today me and my  student went to eat banquet in my school... lol ... they got me drink a lot hah :D They booked a table and pull me go with them without telling me anything (_ _")
I had cute students hah, and also im a really cute teacher nah :P

Miss you so much.... only 2 days left and ya home hah ^^ Wondering will you say miss me after those 7 days ... cuz i do.... and i will say so for sure...

Love you so much

Day 30th...

Honey ah ....

I miss you nah ....
I really feel like nothing's beside me now nah :(
You're not here.... my dad had an accident, now even i argue with my roommates ....
Where are you now??? I was always there beside you when you need me mah? right? but i guess you will now spend more time with him really hah... you two are getting closer hah... so really i should step back now...
Anw, still tell you about my today hah :)
Today i was complimented by teachers hah :D They also say i have the potential to bright up the atmosphere, bright up others and make them smile ^^ that makes me miss you more...
And then i had a quiz about computer class which i finish in 5 mins=)) 30 mins before .... the lecture just come and ask me to leave=)) cuz he knows i can do it more than he expect :D
Then about the tutor time hah:D I have to buy them chips today, im now bankrupt nah *Shy*... but happiest bankrupted man ever :D

Anw... wish ya somewhere around me again... hate that i have to be alone again ...
but we will get through everything right:D

Love you a lot !!

Day 29th...

Aaa... Honey ah......... i miss you so much ...
Ya so so bad T.T At lease you have to find somewhere to write me an email to tell me that you're ok hah?
You know everyday i wait and hope that you would also text me like you text him?...
I know im not that important... i will leave right when i can... just for now... really need you beside me...
You skip your promise so i think there wont be a chance for me anymore hah... All i can do now is to wish you happy....
Btw, my today was ok... no classes in the morning, afternoon with French lesson and Human Resources was quite ok :-?? Nothing much happen... And i've just won my student again so this friday i will get another free chips from them:D

Tell me about your day nah... what did you do? did you enjoy it? Looking forward to hearing from ya nah :)

Miss you here...


Love you

Day 28th ...

Hi honey... 

Are you missing me now? Or are you dreaming about me now?
I m missing you like crazy nah  .... Hate ya so much you know ... don't even try to contact me ... T.T
Anw, my today was quite good! Lessons were ok ^^ and i had free chips from my students :D But next week i have to buy them bubble tea T.T im gonna die .....

Tell ya this hah, today i played basket ball as well nah... and you know what? I miss the time that we play together.... miss the moment that i see your eyes watching me playing .... damn .... will we have those time again?

Love you so much...

Day 27th...

A long day for me since ya not there to chit chat with me anymore hah...
I miss you so so much honey ah...
What will you be after this 7 long days? We will see hah ^^

Anw, my today was quite nice you know? I dont know why but my head is so bright today that i could think everything so fast like a machine:>
I can go early than the rest of the class for 1h30 while the lesson should last for 2 hours=)) just because i finished everything so so fast:D
Then the meeting and other projects i also do it really like a robot:D buff buff buff and i finish my part...
And you know what, my students lost last week so basically tomorrow i will have free chips from them:> hehe, Kent wont get bankrupt as you think hah.. in return, i had their respect and also their love:D i didnt mean love love hah=.= i just mean they all like me:D Im cute mah:D

Miss you honey ah...


Ilusm..>!