i am really missing you desperately...

What can i say now?... i miss you ... feeling lost somehow... get bored with all daily tasks... bored to everything around me...
 Honey.... what can i do to get us back to our time?..

HONEY.... I MISS YOU...

Yes i do... I really miss you...
I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!I MISS YOU!!


Why... i love you... and you love me too... but we cant be together? Why we always miss each other but we cant be a nice couple... I really miss the time when we travel... we were a real couple in someway...or at least i think so...
I fucking hate this fact!...

Reason...

i was always there for you ... and you know i did! but after all i dont know what is it between us! i hoped a lot, i loved a lot and also hurt a lot...this is not smthing you called a "pay back"! Cuz if i do, you will even feel worse!

You said now you want to be beside me? then what is it now? you had him, your family, even your best friends! and you told me there are something you cannot tell both of them then tell your friends! Why me? I am not tired of this because i would love to hear everything you said, but it made me hope so much... and then what left is pain!

You told me it's so hurt that you can hardly breath... so do i... and it is not the first time for me! But please! Think again and tell me why you have all of those feelings for me?... when ya ready or know it, add me again in wechat if you really can throw things away to tell me that like i did to you! I will be waiting... you know that i always love you mah... right? But it is just, smtime, my love is not that good for you... and if you decide to choose one love! Believe me or not, have faith in it and it will never bring you down!

What im trying to do now is close myself.... or should i say shut myself down ... i wont fight for love anymore from now on... i guess you were  right... the more we fight for it, the more painful we will feel... so love the one who love you would be an easy and safe choice hah :) Now i know why you choose to live like that somehow... and also i was so so down that before... you tried to comment on every post that i made... now i can easily see that you changed a lot that you didnot even comment on one post if you dont want to tell me smthing...

And about the delete part... i just cant stop loving you if i keep seeing you there and texting with you! Anw, you also deleted me once... not me but my post to be exact...

:)

Lie on bed what look at all of our pics again :)

Just a "heart-beating feeling" keep make my heart hurt ...

Dont know why...

But i miss you...

Do you hate me and the fact that i am loving you more and more?

...

You are not my honey like before anymore nah...

Hard hard hard...

Anw, keep strong my princess!

Love you..

I am such a fool ...

Why i cant think of it earlier hah...
Cant sleep, and read a short story ...

"If you dont love me then I cant just force you to love me ... :) "

I got it now... sorry for what i've done so far...

Strange feeling...

A feeling that is different hah...
That's what i am gonna say about our closest talk...
I dont know but when we talk softly like that... i can feel a connection... It's not too fast, its not too slow, but it's warm... it doesnt change the beat of my heart, but its like bring life to it...

And silly June ah...
Since you go back to China, i know that i cant lean on you anymore... i have to stand on my own :) there is always some kinds of feeling that you wont tell and wont share anyone right? And same to me... there's something that i cant tell anyone, except for the one can make me feel love... You do make me feel so, but you deny it or somehow you avoid it... that's why i cant tell... Not exactly that's why i cant tell ... i dont know how to explain it now...
And honey ah... i cant stop loving you, that's why i will always care abt you! you knew it right?
But tell you nah... to love you like that, there is so many opposite feelings and thoughts inside my head and my heart which fight all the time... You can say i am changeable, or easy to change, or i am like a girl (lol), but you might not understand my feeling... to a lucky and lovely girl like you, i dont think you are suffered by this much, but i am... plus im the kind of guy who always want to bring the one i love a feeling of safe and warm... I do know that girls dont want that, i am me, cant change lol ... people might fed up with me soon, but i dont ^^

Even there's a lot of thing i cant tell now, even to you, but ya still the only place i can find when i am weak :) even it's just in short-term but it is already more than enough:)
And keep that in your mind nah!! Whatever i said, you said im your safest place to hide once, then i will always be that place of yours!
Love you..



Believe it or not... You are a special girl.. and only you can make me feel that much kind of feeling :)

Sleep tight...

Sleep tight hah:)
Miss you the whole day...
Yup, i cant stop loving you ...
But i have my own pride... i threw it away a lot of time to stay beside you... it's your turn now..











I wont deny that i was wrong that time, but you push me that much, you should also know your mistake!
But really, i dont care? Think again!

Goodbye my honey...

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Why?
WHY?
Whenever we are hot temper, we will be like this... we always good and know how the other  think mah...
I do know what have you done for me and to me... you too right?
And deep inside you, you know that you love me too, you and me we both believe in what you said at the airport then what are we doing? Keep hurting each other like that?...
Sorry for hurting you this time... but i guess it's better than keep doing so for long time hah...
you dont face your love then im sorry...

Good bye my lover...

I LOVE YOU !

Bad June ...T.T

So you changed too much hah ... you read everything and dont even leave one comment to let me know... 

It will be a lie if i say that i dont want to know how you feel after reading all of that... but i guess it didnt touch you that deep hah... it couldnt be like before anw... i miss our time together... i was so nice... everything was just like living in a true fairy tale of us ...

However, ya now having your own paradise hah :) Enjoy for me as well honey hah!

Still... love you more and more...

Miss my "HONEY"

Honey ah...

Wondering if ya read our fairy tales or not... but if you read it then i hope you understand my heart hah:)
I know you are strong, i know you are a special girl:) You will always success wherever you go and whatever you do:) That's what i always believe <3
It has been a long time since you last work so you need time to carry on and get used to it :) You will find another me there ^^ Someone who can push you up like i did in carousel :)
YOU CAN DO IT!!
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT !!
It sounds really boring for you hah... but yup... that's what i will always tell you and believe so :)
It's now a tough time^^ i will be there for you!

Love you more and more :)

T.T

BAD JUNE!!
DONT EXPECT IM GONNA BE GOOD WITH YOU EASILY!
I HATE THIS!!!!
ENJOY YOUR MALDIVES YOURSELF HAH!!!!

Ble ble!!
Silly you!
I talked to you cuz i already cant stop talking anymore... but you are worst! keep treating me like that, YOU will lose me soon! No matter how much i love you!!












































T.T
Still love you more somehow ... *wronged*

:)

One more hour before your arrival in Maldives hah...
You will have a busy life over there for sure :)
Hope that you will always be strong and happy:) I know you can do it! There's nothing you cant do! Cuz you are the girl that i love, and to be loved by me, that girl should be really special *wink*

Welcome to Maldives honey hah >:D<

...

So today you flight away hah...
Guess that you cried a lot hah?...
but to be honest... i hate seeing you cry... that's so hurt to see that you know?
Safe flights honey nah :)
Hope that you will have a nice life over there, in that Maldives paradise:)

Please forgive me... i cant stop loving you...

Day 82nd..

Honey...
Base on how you treat me today... you seem really enjoy your spaces now right? ... i've been waiting... i thought somehow you will talk to me soon... but im not that important for you to keep holding on:) i guess it was an end for "us" right?
What i was afraid that it would happen happened... have a good life hah!
I really dont know what else to say... :)

So finally, til now, the fairy tale end as you want it to be hah... an unhappy ending... your wishes always come true :-?? Not like me hah:)

Anw, somehow, you have your happy ending mah:) that's enough:)
I am happy to see you happy with him:)

Love you more...
This will close our fairy tale hah? I guess...
Somewhere deep inside me... really hope that one day i can still come back and continue writing this fairy tale:)

Goodbye, my sweetest girlfriend ever:)

Day 81st...

HONEY!!!
WHAT TAKES YOU SO LONG??
Is it that easy for you? Dont you feel the same as me?
I hold the touch in my hand for the whole day... and just hope that some thing from you pop up...
i know ya having a good time home but dont let me down... i am important somehow to you right?

Love you...

Day 80th...

Bad June...
You know me mah, right? You said those words to me in the airport then prove it to me..
I will wait for your return...
I believe you will come back to me one day... Be strong and face it...

Whatever happen between us, i will still love you more!

Day 79th..

2am...
Finally i finish my project with my lovely team <3
Anw... lol hah? Again i can not leave you... you always know how to get me back... or i just can not resist your charm at all...
I am sorry for saying these words hah... you know that you are out of my league mah... it's not that you dont deserve my love... it's about ya out of my reach ...:) Anw... you were really bad since ya treat me like that... you put me behind everything.... that makes me sad ...

Still love you more than yesterday ..

Day 77th and 78th...

Honey ah... not again?
Why ... time after time...? It's all my fault again right? Yup... i guess that's what you think now... you dont need a bad Kent anymore, it seems...
You remember what we said when we cant be together? What comes will come... We will see where it will be then hah... anw... what comes came... we have to deal with it hah...
Moreover... if i keep on hoping that you will come to me... then it also means that you will break up with him... it's too selfish right? in someway... i cant let it happens... i cant break your heart or your happiness... you are so happy now that you dont want to leave anymore... you went out with his family even.... Really when you tell me that... to be honest... i cant bear that pain...
Anw, since you tell me you went to Leehom concert... and you still remember my song... i was so happy at that moment:) And since that time till now... i tell you my music list that i listen everyday hah:
-The first morning ... this song makes me remember about the time that i woke up and saw you were there.. next to me... those were the best days ever in my life.. And do you remember our first morning? The moment that i miss the most is when i stood by the window... you came, talked and then hold me from behind... love that hug...
-Tong hua ... you understand this two words more than me hah? FAIRY TALE... Our time we had together... it was really a beautiful Fairy tale .
-By my side... Remember that day? In that stage... i played this song for you, for only you... my eyes locked on yours and i gave you all my heart... Afterward... somehow we are so close right? remember on the bus i ask if you were happy, and you said " for always when i am with you "... i miss that moment so much... you know that you held my hand so so tight like a kid dont want to lose something? That was really sweet and i cant forget that day...
-You dont know me ... You said you like this song when i play it right? So do i... i love to play it for you...
-Endless love ( chinese one hah:p) ... It is what it means ...

Find it similar somehow?... I do... i know they make me crazy for you somehow... but i keep me moving...
Really hope that one day you will come back to our secret... read it once... so you may know how much i love you... you may know that i am still waiting for you... you may know that i am always watching ya...
The Fairy Tales now i cant write anymore... but i hope it's not ended yet hah... cuz this is where we love, where we raise our love... or i raise my love... so it wont stop here... it is just continue writing for itself hah:)

Love you more and more...

Day 77th..

Honey ah.... It's 3am now... but i cant close my eyes... i dont know why but i just think of you all the time and i cant sleep ...

Promise me you will read our secret at least once again hah? So that you will know how much i love you...

Really have a lot of things in my mind now that i want to tell you... and i just dont know where to start... Miss you so much...

Anw, ya hate to change things around you hah... but you changed yourself on the way of behaving toward me... Sadly, it's a negative way... ya spending less time on me now.... seems like the only time that you gonna text me is when you get to bed and about to sleep, after finishing with him... Anw, everyday i wait for these moment... unfortunately, it doesnt last so long...

Do i have to face the truth that you dont love me anymore?

....

Still love you more than yesterday >:D<

Day 76th..

Nothing much to say today...
You went to the concert with him and his family....
I dont know what to say now... I guess there will be no more chance for me right? I never think about you and him with his family that close... I'd better leave... i know you want to keep me by your side as a friend... but you know? That's really selfish!!! YOU KNOW THAT I CANT STOP LOVING YOU MAH!!!!!!!!!!
i really dont know ... what should i do now????????
Hurt...
But still love you more than yesterday....